Funeral Poems for a Friend

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there; I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sun on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die.

— Mary Elizabeth Frye

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we shared together. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, Somewhere very near, Just round the corner. All is well.

— Henry Scott-Holland

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

— W.H. Auden

Copyright W.H. Auden Estate. Published by Random House.

Remember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land; When you can no more hold me by the hand, Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay. Remember me when no more day by day You tell me of our future that you plann'd: Only remember me; you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray. Yet if you should forget me for a while And afterwards remember, do not grieve: For if the darkness and corruption leave A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad.

— Christina Rossetti

You can shed tears that she is gone, Or you can smile because she has lived.

— David Harkins

Copyright David Harkins. Used with permission in many funeral settings.

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone." Gone where? Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me -- not in her. And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" And that is dying...

— Henry Van Dyke

I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. I envy not in any moods The captive void of noble rage, The linnet born within the cage, That never knew the summer's woods: I envy not the beast that takes His licence in the field of time, Unfetter'd by the sense of crime, To whom a conscience never wakes; Nor, what may count itself as blest, The heart that never plighted troth But stagnates in the weeds of sloth; Nor any want-begotten rest. I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.

— Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam A.H.H. (1850)

Of all the money that e'er I had, I spent it in good company. And all the harm that e'er I've done, Alas, it was to none but me. And all I've done for want of wit To memory now I can't recall; So fill to me the parting glass, Good night and joy be with you all. Oh, all the comrades that e'er I've had Are sorry for my going away. And all the sweethearts that e'er I've had Would wish me one more day to stay. But since it falls unto my lot That I should rise and you should not, I'll gently rise and I'll softly call, Good night and joy be with you all.

— Traditional Irish/Scottish

Some things in life are bad, They can really make you sad, Other things just make you mad.

— Eric Idle / Monty Python

Copyright Eric Idle. From Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979).

I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done. I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways, Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun; Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

— Unknown

When I come to the end of the day And the sun has set for me, I want no rites in a gloom-filled room. Why cry for a soul set free? Miss me a little, but not too long, And not with your head bowed low. Remember the love that we once shared, Miss me, but let me go. For this is a journey that we all must take, And each must go alone. It's all a part of the Maker's plan, A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart, Go to the friends we know, And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds. Miss me, but let me go.

— Unknown

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.

— Emily Dickinson

If I should go before the rest of you, Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone. Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice, But be the usual selves that I have known.

— Joyce Grenfell

Copyright Joyce Grenfell Estate.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

— Jenny Joseph

Copyright Jenny Joseph Estate. Published by Souvenir Press.

Oh dear, if you're reading this right now, I must have given up the ghost. I hope you can forgive me for being Such a stiff and unwelcoming host. Just talk amongst yourselves, my friends, And share a drink or two. For I am sure you'll all agree — It's what I'd like to do. Don't worry about prior engagements, I won't be offended, you see. Just go ahead and cancel them all, And come and remember me. Don't stand on ceremony now. Make sure that you have fun. Remember I'm not really gone, I've just gone out to lunch. Pardon me for not getting up, I'd like to raise a toast. So please enjoy the party — It's the most I can do as your host.

— Unknown

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done, The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won, The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring; But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, Where on the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead. O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells; Rise up — for you the flag is flung — for you the bugle trills, For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths — for you the shores a-crowding, For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning; Here Captain! dear father! This arm beneath your head! It is some dream that on the deck, You've fallen cold and dead. My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still, My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will, The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done, From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won; Exult O shores, and ring O bells! But I with mournful tread, Walk the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead.

— Walt Whitman

An honest man here lies at rest, The friend of man, the friend of beast, If there is another world, he lives in bliss; If there is none, he made the best of this.

— Robert Burns

I'd like the memory of me To be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow Of smiles when life is done. I'd like to leave an echo Whispering softly down the ways, Of happy times and laughing times And bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve To dry before the sun Of happy memories that I leave When life is done.

— Unknown

Say not in grief 'he is no more' But live in thankfulness that he was.

— Rabindranath Tagore

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done, The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won, The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring; But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, Where on the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead.

— Walt Whitman

Death is not extinguishing the light; It is only putting out the lamp Because the dawn has come.

— Rabindranath Tagore

An honest man here lies at rest, The friend of man, the friend of beast, If there is another world, he lives in bliss; If there is none, he made the best of this.

— Robert Burns

It was beautiful as long as it lasted, The journey of my life. I have no regrets whatsoever, Save the pain I'll leave behind. Those dear hearts who love and care And the strings pulling at the heart and soul, The strong arms that held me up When my own strength let me down. At every turning of my life, I came across good friends, Friends who stood by me Even when the time raced me by. Farewell, farewell, my friends, I smile and bid you goodbye. No, shed no tears, for I need them not, All I need is your smile. If you feel sad, do think of me, For that's what I'll like, When you live in the hearts of those you love, Remember then, you never die.

— Rabindranath Tagore

Don't think of him as gone away — His journey's just begun. Life holds so many facets — This earth is only one.

— Ellen Brenneman

Copyright Ellen Brenneman.

"Why did you do all this for me?" he asked. "I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for you." "You have been my friend," replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a tremendous thing."

— E.B. White, Charlotte's Web by E.B. White (1952)

Copyright E.B. White Estate. Published by Harper & Brothers.

I told you I was ill. Don't cry for me now, it's all a big joke. Smile, wave goodbye, and have a nice day.

— Spike Milligan

Copyright Spike Milligan Estate.

At the last, tenderly, From the walls of the powerful fortress'd house, Let me be wafted. Let me glide noiselessly forth; With the key of softness unlock the locks — with a whisper, Set ope the doors O soul. Tenderly — be not impatient, (Strong is your hold O mortal flesh, Strong is your hold O love.)

— Walt Whitman

We are here to celebrate your life And the measure of its worth, The joy you brought to all of us During your time upon this earth. You were always there to lend a hand, A shoulder or an ear, To share a joke, to share a laugh, To be a friend so dear. It's been a privilege to have known you. We were family, not just friends. And your warmth and love and laughter Will shine on till time itself ends.

— Unknown

I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done. I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways, Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun; Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

— Unknown

Let's drink to the dead already, And hurrah for the next that dies!

— Traditional Irish

There are strange things done in the midnight sun By the men who moil for gold; The Arctic trails have their secret tales That would make your blood run cold; The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, But the queerest they ever did see Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge I cremated Sam McGee.

— Robert W. Service

There are friends who walk beside us, Who brighten up our days, Who fill our lives with laughter, With love, in countless ways. And when we lose a friendship That meant the world and more, We know that special person Is just beyond the door. Waiting for us somewhere, In a place that's free from pain, Where one day we'll be together And share our laughs again.

— Unknown

There is a time for everything, A time for joy, a time for sorrow, A time to hold on and a time to let go. There is a time for peace, A time for quiet reflection. Let today be a time to remember The love and the laughter we shared, To honour a life well lived, And to find comfort in one another.

— Traditional

If I be the first of us to die, Let grief not blacken long your sky. Be bold yet modest in your grieving. There is a change but not a leaving.

— Nicholas Evans

Copyright Nicholas Evans Estate.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

— Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Copyright Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Published by HarperOne.

"Isn't it a bit unpleasant to be made of something that can simply get up and walk away from you at any moment?" said Mole. "No," said the Rat, gazing lovingly at the old boat. "For what gives life its value is that some day it will end. Some day, one day, we shall all leave this riverside, one by one. But the memory of the river, and the friends we made here, and the sunshine and the willows — those memories will last forever." "Then I shan't mind leaving," said Mole quietly. "No," agreed the Rat. "You won't mind at all."

— Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame (1908)

Life is a jest, and all things show it. I thought so once, and now I know it. My own epitaph.

— John Gay

Good-bye my fancy! Farewell dear mate, dear love! I'm going away, I know not where, Or to what fortune, or whether I may ever see you again, So good-bye my fancy. Now for my last — let me look back a moment; The slower fainter ticking of the clock is in me, Exit, nightfall, and soon the heart-thud stopping. Long have we lived, joy'd, caress'd together; Delightful! — now separation — Good-bye my fancy. Yet let me not be too hasty, Long indeed have we lived, slept, filter'd, become really blended into one; Then if we die we die together, (yes, we'll remain one,) If we go anywhere we'll go together to meet what happens, Good-bye — and hail! my fancy.

— Walt Whitman

I have not known the kind of friend Who walks with you through sun and rain, Who shares your joy, who soothes your pain.

— Grace Noll Crowell

Copyright likely applies. Grace Noll Crowell d. 1969.

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am the thousand winds that blow... Actually, forget that, I'm watching the football.

— Unknown

Don't cry for me now I have died, For I'm still here, right by your side. My body's gone but my soul is here, Just talk to me, I'll always hear. I'll watch you from the other side, I'll be the one to be your guide. So dry your eyes and don't be sad, Remember the good times that we had.

— Unknown

Please don't put me in the ground Without my mobile phone. I need to check my Facebook page And answer all texts shown. I need to post a selfie or two To let my friends all know That the Wi-Fi up in Heaven Is a little bit too slow. But don't you worry 'bout me, love, I'll find a signal soon. I'll text you from the pearly gates And we'll FaceTime by the moon. So please don't cry too long for me, Just pick up your phone instead. And if you get a funny text, You'll know I'm not quite dead.

— Unknown

I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens. Or was that Woody Allen? Either way, When I go, I'd like to go laughing.

— Sean Hughes

Copyright Sean Hughes Estate.